Thanksgiving is a meaningful family holiday for many cultures – a time of togetherness, tradition, and an abundance of food. These intergenerational memories are often cherished, but for individuals recovering from an eating disorder, food-centered holidays can be overwhelming. What may feel comforting or joyful to some can stir heightened anxiety, fear, and internal conflict for others.

If someone you love who is recovering from an eating disorder, the holiday season may amplify the emotional head space and thoughts  they already carry. The good news: with awareness, compassion, and supportive practices, families can make this time feel safer and more nurturing.

What the Holidays Can Feel Like

These are just some of the potential feelings your loved one may be experiencing:

• “The holiday season is always the most difficult time of year because everything focuses on food.â€
• “Holidays for me are terrifying. I feel so alone.â€
• “The huge focus on food tends is a big trigger for me.â€
• “I feel trapped in my eating disorder thoughtsâ€
• “I do not want anyone to see me eat.â€
• “Just thinking about food and gaining weight,  makes me feel gross.â€
• “There is so much food and love, but I can’t feel the joy others see to feel…â€
• “My secrecy and lying makes me feel even guiltier.”

How Families can Help and Offer Support

• Refrain from talking about diets, weight loss, and body size.
• Focus conversations on gratitude, common values, and emotional connection.
• Give compliments based on character qualities rather than external appearance.
• Keep the spotlight of the holiday on gratitude and togetherness.
• Seek to understand the fears and internal isolation your loved one may be experiencing.
• Invite your loved one into preparations, such as decorating the dining area. 
• If your loved one appears to be struggling offer calm support
• Check in on how your loved one is feeling.
• Organize small-group or one-on-one activities throughout the day or weekend.
• Plan activities and games that do not center on food
• Be Patient – Your Loved One may be triggered in ways they are not saying

DBT Skill of the Week – Cope Ahead

If you have the opportunity to talk ahead of Thanksgiving, help your loved one identify ways that they can make their  day more enjoyable and less stressful. 

• What can they ask for? 
• Who can they enlist for support? 
• How will they set boundaries for themselves, if need be?
• Can they name any catastrophic fears?
• What can they plan into their day, to feel more comfortable and in control?

Key Takeaways:

• The holiday season can bring high levels of stress, anxiety, and guilt around eating,  for those in eating disorder recovery.
• With love, understanding, and support, the holidays don’t have to feel daunting.

            Simply showing up takes immense strength and courage.

Suggested Family Affirmation Activity

Create a day of connection and encouragement with a fun Gratitude and Affirmation ritual:

• Give each person, at the event, a mason jar or small box with their name on it. 
• Your loved one, or another person, can help decorate the container.
• Provide strips of paper and invite everyone to write something they appreciate or love about each person at the table.
• Place the notes into the jars to be read during the meal, at dessert, or later by the fireplace.

Your loved one may choose to read their affirmations privately- and that’s okay.

The person struggling with an eating disorder has their own list of fears and strengths, hopes and challenges, joys and struggles. We hope this guide helps you better understand the significant and often unseen emotional experience your loved one may carry into the holiday season-and how you can help create an atmosphere of gentleness, safety, and connection.

If you or someone you love, needs Eating Disorder support this holiday season, Resilience Therapy is here.

Our Eating Disorder Therapists are experienced in eating disorder recovery and the emotional challenges that come with family gatherings and food-focused events. Resilience Therapy specializes in the full range of eating disorders – Anorexia, Atypical Anorexia, Bulimia, Emotional Eating, and Orthorexia.

Reach out to schedule a consultation and give yourself – or your loved one – the gift of compassionate, evidence-based care.